I’ve always felt disillusioned with the way social media portrays life for#Gay men. There seem to be 3 archetypes explored in the exploitation of our experience; comedic relief, the martyr, and the weak of resolve. You’re either funny, bold, or afraid. Considering that I have been on a path to no longer embrace my character; the funny, shallow, bitchy “just jack” and the latter two experiences of being bold and afraid haven’t described my life either, it has been difficult to identify with my community at large. The realities of being a gay man have brought a plethora of experiences to my life. I have seen so many people break down and tell me they were moved by my own humanity and couldn’t understand why they have hated us in the past, I have had many place a level of trust with me because of my self described more “feminine nature”, I have had men yell at me outside of McDonalds for the way I dressed, I have been pulled out of a car while making out with my ex boyfriend, I have had strangers feel as if it was their right to discuss publicly and openly their speculations about my roles in sex and relationships, and I have also faced a lifetime of micro aggressions from those closest to me. This series of aggressions whether micro or macro have come from a place of “I shouldn’t tell children or elders that I am a proud #gay man” “I should tone down my way of speech or dress to blend in” and finally in the form of a believed implied right to control, silence, and regulate my voice and actions through bartering for acceptance. Everyday society, family, and friends ask for pieces of you to be altered; to be easier to deal with, to stand out more, and to be less unique. However after so long of conceiting a battle of identity you no longer recognize who you were made to be. This understanding has taken 24 years and a lot of experiences to develop and although I know I have much more to learn I wanted to quote a women who has been instrumental in my understanding ” there is a vitality, a life force, and a quickening of energy that is translated through you into actions, and because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique”